The Story Of David...

Let me start off by saying Mama I'm sorry!!! And let me also give the whole elevator speech of "we all make mistakes" and "you live and learn". So Mama as you read this...just know this was in the past and I'm a changed woman now, because there might be some things in here that you didn't know about your baby girl!!!

I can't remember all the specifics of how or when I met David. I do know my daughter was pretty young at the time and when we first met I wouldn't give him the time of day. He just wasn't my type, in any way shape or form. But he was persistent and chased me till I finally gave him my number and agreed to let him take me out.

Now what I do remember, is that once David and I started talking, he introduced me to a life straight out of the movies. And no I'm not talking about The Notebook or any other kind of romantic love story, we were more like the movie Belly. On that Tommy and Kisha shit. I'm not a female that is easily impressed by money and material things. Growing up my parents and aunt spoiled the hell out of my brother and I. Anything we could ever want, as long as those grades were right, we got it. So I've had all the clothes, bags, jewelry and trips around the world. Literally. Like our summer vacations consisted of trips to Japan, Brazil and Paris, so all that extra stuff a dude tried to impress me with didn't work. And that was one of the reasons David fell for me. See David lived that fast paced money making life also known as the drug game, and no I'm not referring to weed. He was used to a certain kind of female and I just wasn't that. From day one he flashed his money, jewelry and cars and I could have cared less. I wanted more and it wasn't till years later that I realized he wasn't capable of providing that for me.

When I look back on my life during the time of David, I realize just how stupid I was. And I often thank God for sparing my life, especially when I look at my husband and children and see just how blessed I am today. But back then, you couldn't tell me nothing. My one and only goal was to prove to him that I was worthy of being number one. I needed to be the main girl!! So whatever he needed me to do, I was gonna do it.

The airport run is one I will never forget. Of course this was before 9/11 so airport security wasn't at the level it is now. There was no full body scanners or having to take your shoes off. You went through this little mediocre ass security checkpoint, got on your plane and were on your way. A couple days before the infamous airport run David and I took a drive to his cousin's house. We go inside this little run down place and straight to the kitchen where his cousin and a couple other people were gathered  around. I noticed a guy standing at the stove and it looked as if he was cooking something , but it damn sure wasn't Thanksgiving dinner. Lets just say, I got my first lesson in how to "cook" some things, and we'll just leave it at that. David and his cousin informed me that they had a run to make out of town, so I would need to drop them off at the airport early in the morning and pick them up later that night. Like I said before, I'm trying to be number one, so I do as I'm told and I don't ask any questions.

Early the next morning I drop them off at the airport and go back home to chill. Later that night he calls to inform me their plane gets in around 11:30, so I make sure my daughter is sleep and tell my mother I'll be back. Driving his car, I make my way to the airport and pick them up. As I'm on the road headed home, I see David out the corner of my eye pulling his sweatpants down and his cousin in the back doing the same. Under their sweatpants they have another pair of pants on and I'm wondering where the hell did ya'll go that it was so cold you had to layer up. But as they pull down the second pair of pants and I see these huge ziploc bags full of white powder taped around their legs from the top of their thighs to the bottom of their ankles, I'm realizing this wasn't a family trip they went on. They start to untape the bags from their legs and throw them in a bigger bag in the back seat. I had about 20 questions I wanted to ask but I just kept looking ahead focusing on the road and minding my business. Remember, we are trying to get that number one spot, so I'm gonna be his Bonnie and STFU.

The airport run wasn't my last up close and personal encounter with this lifestyle. Oh no, there were many.

Excuse me ya'll...Mama brace yourself for this one. I don't think I've told you this story before.

I can remember one time I actually had to do a "transaction" myself because he wasn't home. Before he left he showed me the huge military style gun in his closet and how to use it and then he let me know to wait for the knock on the door. You don't know scared until your boyfriend leaves you at his house, alone, with a gun and drugs to sell. That knock came and I thought I was going to shit myself. But you can't look like a rookie so you have to put your game face on and handle business. And that I did. He was very proud of me, but I told him I wasn't doing that shit ever again and I didn't.

So since I wouldn't partake in selling the drugs, I was given another job...count the money. Picture yourself laying on the highest thread count of sheets made, watching TV in a huge bedroom with marble floors and your man walks in with a duffel bag and makes it rain money all around you. I felt like I was in a damn music video. And just as I got ready to make a money angel like a kid outside on the first snow day of the year...I was snapped back to reality when he told me to count it. Oh you think counting money is easy huh?? Have you ever counted drug money?? Thousands and thousands of drug money?? Let me explain how this works. You have to separate the bills into different piles. Tens with tens, twenties with twenties and so on. The bills all have to be facing the same direction AND the serial numbers have to be in order. To this day I still make sure all my money is facing the same direction and each bill goes in order...when you count a lot of money a lot of times, the process kind of sticks with you.

Now before you can start asking questions or judging me as I tell you about this Scarface lifestyle I was living, I know you might be wondering about my daughter. Like how in the hell is she with him all the time, doing these crazy things and she has a kid?? Well let me answer that question for you and also tell you about the day my daughter saved my life.

David loved Aryonna. He had a child of his own but since my daughter was so young when he came in the picture, that also became his baby. He gave her the world, she didn't want for nothing when he was around. One Christmas my money was tight and I wasn't able to get her all the gifts I wanted to. I was at home and heard a honk outside, that was his thing, he honked and would I run outside to see what he wanted. I know I know yes it was sad, we teach our daughters to make sure the man walks to the front door, but remember I was trying to get that number one spot, so when I heard that honk, I hauled ass out that door. Anyway, he told me to grab Aryonna because we were going to the store. He took us to Toys R Us. We went inside and he grabbed 3 carts. I put her in my cart and he had the other two. He said "whatever she points at you put in the cart". By the time we left out of there she had a toy kitchen, a bike, this huge finding Nemo fish because that was her favorite movie at the time, and every kind of doll and toy you can imagine. Those carts were overflowing with so many things and even though she had picked them out herself, she still lost it Christmas morning when she saw everything  (check out the pic below of her on her bike and Nemo chillin on the floor Christmas morning). So he really did love my baby and would always tell me, "I'll never let anything happen to either of you" but I would always have to remind him...even though he wouldn't let anything happen to us that wouldn't stop other people. In that life, you take a risk everyday you walk out the door, you never know who is watching, hating or waiting.

The night my life changed, David, Aryonna and I had gone out to eat. For some reason I decided to drive that night and meet him at the restaurant. We had a great time and he told me to come back to his house that night to stay with him and bring Aryonna. It wasn't uncommon for her to stay the night with us. But I wanted to take her home because it was late, both of us were tired and she was a little cranky so I declined and told him I would get up with him tomorrow, and we went our separate ways. When David walked in his house that night there were 4 guys dressed in all black with masks on, waiting for him in his living room. They beat him really bad, put him in the trunk of his car and drove off to finish what they started. When they stopped at a light he managed to get out the trunk and tried to run away. They shot him 7 times and left him to die in the middle of the street. It was about a week or 2 later when I finally heard from him, which also wasn't uncommon. He would go MIA for a couple days, sometimes out of town or in town with someone else. He called me from the hospital. I almost didn't recognize his voice because he sounded so weak. I immediately went to see him and when I walked in the room I was greeted by one of his many females giving me the dirtiest of looks when he told her to leave. That moment made me feel like shit. That moment showed me no matter what I did or how long I stuck around, I would never be his only one. I clearly wasn't the first person he thought to call even though I was the one with him that night. And as he told me the story of what happened, I also realized that as much as I loved and cared for him, I had to put my daughter and myself first. As glamorous and fun as that life was, it just wasn't worth it

My daughter is 16 now and at times I catch myself looking at her and I think about the "what ifs". What if we decided to go home with him that night?? Would they have spared our lives?? Would they have looked at this little 3 year old girl and cared enough to not hurt her or her mother?? I thank God we didn't find out the answer to those questions. I thank God for Aryonna being cranky and tired that night and saving my life. I thank God for that wake up call. 

As much as it hurt me, I told David that day in the hospital that I was done with him. I couldn't be a part of that life anymore. He didn't want to hear it, even got pissed off. And of course he promised me nothing would ever happen to us and he would always protect us, but as he winced in pain from the 7 bullet holes in his body, I reminded him that he couldn't guarantee us that. So I had to let him go.

Years went by and I was working at a car dealership and happened to be outside. This man drives up and stops to ask me a question. It was David. We were both in shock because we didn't think we would ever see each other again. Of course he was still heavy in the game. Even got caught up in some other mess and shot again, having to get one of his legs amputated. We hung out a couple times but he knew my heart wasn't in it like it used to be and eventually the calls and text stopped and we lost contact with each other.

I don't regret anything when it comes to the life I lived with David. And if I had to do it all over again, I would. As crazy and dangerous as that time was it was also a lot of fun and he was great to my daughter and I. But one thing I learned was the importance of putting me first. David could give my daughter and I the world but he could never give us all of him. He wasn't capable of being to me what I was willing to be to him. No matter how hard I tried to prove myself to him it was never enough. And in life, you have to know when you are enough for some people and never enough for others. And you have to be willing to let some people go. It won't be easy. It will hurt. But you have to do what is best for YOU. I thank David for teaching me how important it is to love, cherish and care about me more than my situation.

And I hope my story can do the same for you.

~KBC~